Never Let Me Go
by SherlockianChild
Summary: When Sam dies during surgery, Dean blames his doctor for his death. Trying to make amends for Sam's death, Doctor Novak tries to reach out to Dean.


Never Let Me Go

The double doors from St. Luke's South Hospital crash open as a man in a gurney is rushed inside by three men. The man was no more than in his late twenties. As the doors shut closed, the deafening noise from the ambulance dies down. All eyes are on the three men as they move the patient around. Everyone immediately springs into action and tends to the man in the gurney.

"What's his status?" asks a nurse, cutting open the man's bloodied shirt. After a few moments with trying to cut the dampened shirt, the nurse managed to remove the fabric. Her face sunkens into a darker shade when she doesn't detect any burn marks on his neck or waist.

"Car crash. He needs surgery for his abdominals. And he's bleeding internally, more than he should," replies one of the men who brought the man in.

"Any brain trauma?" asks another.

"No."

"I'll go contact Dr. Novak immediately. Send him to the room," a nurse says, disappearing from view.

"What room is my brother in, dammit?" yells a man with spiky dark blonde hair.

The woman at the desk smiles wearily at the man, frightened that he might lash out on her, as she whispers softly, "Dean, your brother was in a car crash. He was injured really badly -"

"I already know! You've told me this three times already. I want to know where my brother is. What are they doing to him?!" Dean interrupts, face flushed red with anxiety. "Tell me, what's happening? Why isn't anybody telling me anything? He's my brother!"

A nearby security grabs Dean from behind, taking hold of his arms. Dean thrashes around, trying to break from the man's hold.

A man was passing by hurriedly with a folder in his arms when he sees the scene. He purses his lips as he stops before Dean and the security. "Hey, hey, hey! Uriel, what're you doing? Put him down! What's going on?" he says loudly, voice gruff and low.

Uriel glares at Dean before he stares at the doctor. "This punk's causing a disturbance, doctor. He's making a scene over his stupid brother-"

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill you!" Dean exclaims angrily.

"I could have you arrested!" Uriel snaps back.

"But you're not going to," the doctor answers, narrowing his eyes as he stares at them both. "Uriel, I will not ask twice. Put him down."

Uriel glares at the doctor as he grunts in disgust, releasing Dean immediately. He shoves him away from him as if his very touch offended him.

Dean glares at Uriel, pretending to pat away any dirt on his leather jacket. He mutters under his breath something about manhandling before he looks at the man in front of him, meeting the stranger's dark sapphire eyes with his hazel-green ones. He tries to catch his breath for a moment after being manhandled.

"You may leave, Uriel. Everything is under control," the doctor says.

Uriel makes an exasperated face. "But, Casti-"

"Now," he interrupts, staring at Uriel dangerously.

Uriel grunts angrily before he storms away from Dean, glaring at the Winchester as he disappeared down the hall.

Dean just smirks at the other before he turns to the other. After a moment of silence, he scrunches his brows together and asks, "My brother, Sam Winchester, is he alright?"

"So, you're the vic's brother?" the doctor questions.

"Can you not call him that? He has a name. You're dehumanizing my brother!" Dean answers angrily.

Doctor Novak's stunned by the other's response. He sees the rage in the other's eyes, but he knew Dean was more worried than angry. He's silent for a moment, thinking how he should phrase his next sentences, before he says, "Listen, I'm needed right now to help your brother, Sam, Mr. Winchester."

Dean was surprised to hear that this was the doctor whose Sam's life depended on. And well, he was doing a piss poor job at helping Sammy. "Then why aren't you with him? You're just -"

"Can we do this without any yelling? I need you to calm down. Eve-"

"How do you expect me to calm down? My brother was in a car crash! And you're still talking to me. Please, you have to help him. You have to help him, please. He's all that I have left! Plea-"

The doctor could feel Uriel coming back to the main hall, and he grabs Dean's shoulders and shakes him a little. He knew it could get him a broken wrist. Dean seemed like the type of guy to break someone's wrist for merely touching them. "You have to relax! I promise you, Sam will be okay. I promise. You have my word, so please, just let me do my job!" Doctor Novak replies.

Dean was thrown off guard when he was shaken abruptly. He looks at the doctor's ID card and reads his name. Castiel Novak. Dean grits his lower jaw and nods his head slowly. "You give me your word?" he asks, voice thick with pain.

Castiel opens his mouth to respond when he's cut off by the intercom. "Doctor Novak. Please, report to surgery immediately."

"I've got to go," Castiel answers, looking down the hall.

"Castiel! Your word. I have your word?" Dean demands again, stopping the other from making a move.

Castiel looks at Dean, unsure of himself, before he nods briskly. "You have my word," he replies briefly, hurrying along down the hall.

After a few minutes, Dean walks alone around the halls. He finds himself in a gift shop and enters the room. He looks around, looking at the same boring magazines at the stands, and the get well soon cards seemed to taunt him with their preppy and uplifting designs. To get things off his mind, Dean looked at the stuffed animals, lifting one that had antlers. A moose. A smile crossed on the other's lips and he chuckled softly. He was definitely buying one for Sam for sure. He goes to the cashier and buys the stuffed moose.

Dean exited the gift shop, a small bag in his hand. He looks at the watch, seeing that thirty minutes had gone by. He lingers for a few minutes, wondering what he should do now. He figured the surgery was going to take a long time and decided to get a coffee. After asking for directions to the cafeteria, Dean makes his way to the elevator, pressing the LL button.

Dean's walking down the hall once more, sipping on his coffee every now and then. This time, he decides to pay attention to where he was going, and directs himself to the sitting room of the surgery room. As he walked by, the walls began to diminish in color and a strong odor began to captivate Dean's senses. He couldn't help but smell the stench of death, but maybe he was smelling bleach and he was just making things up. Nevertheless, Dean couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. When he finds the sitting room, he sits in a plastic chair, which made his back uncomfortable. After a few minutes of sipping his coffee silently, Dean taps his feet impatiently.

He hoped Sam made it out all right. If he died - No, he couldn't be thinking like that. Not with Sam. He can't die. He just can't. Sam was married to Jess. She's pregnant. He can't die on them now. And if something does happen to Sam, it would be Dean's fault. He had begged Sam to come over and visit him at a late time. The thought of Sam dying because of him haunted Dean, and he ran a hand through his hair as he rubbed his lower jaw.

"When's dad coming back?" a boy with moppy brown hair and hazel eyes asks, looking up from his bowl of cereal. He looks no more than ten years old. He looks down at his bowl of uneaten cereal before he looks back at his brother.

A teenaged boy closes the refrigerator abruptly. His fingers are wrapped around firmly on the handle. He had tried everything to avoid this conversation with Sam, but he knew he had to tell him someday.

"Dean?" the boy says.

Dean sighs softly as he turns to stare at his brother. He nods his head briskly before he pulls up a chair and sits beside Sam. "Listen, Sammy, I don't know how to tell you this, but dad's not coming back."

Sam quirks a brow and tilts his head slightly. "Why not?" he asks.

"Sam, dad - he's uh - dad's dead," Dean answers, choking slightly. "He was in a car crash. A drunk guy in a semi killed him."

Sam stares at his brother for a few minutes before he looks back at his bowl of cereal. Tears start flowing down his cheeks, hot and fast.

Dean sighs softly as he sees his brother crying. "Sam, please. Don't cry. Dad's in a better place. He's in heaven. He's watching over us," Dean answers, lying through his teeth.

Sam chokes back a sob before he looks at Dean. "Do you think he's with mom too?" Sam asks.

The mention of his mother ached through Dean's chest before he nodded his head lightly. "I think he's with her at this moment, Sammy. They're happy. And I bet they didn't want us to be sad over this, okay?" Dean says.

Sam nods his head vigorously before he asks, "Who's going to take care of us now?"

"I will, Sam. Don't worry. Everything will be okay, Sammy. I'm here and I'm going to be here to take care of you. And besides, we have Uncle Bobby and Ellen to take care of us," Dean explains, smiling faintly.

Sam nods faintly again.

Dean uses his thumb to white Sam's tears away. "Now, finish your cereal, okay?"

Dean jerks awake when he hears shouts coming from inside the surgery room. He gets up, dropping his half-finished coffee and stuffed moose animal on the ground. He rushes towards the door, despite the nurses protests. He opens each room, coming up empty, until he opens the fourth room. Sam was lying on the operating table, pale and bloodied from the accident. His eyes were shut closed, and even his hair appeared frail and dull.

"You don't understand," a familiar voice says.

Dean shuffles closer inside, finding the doctors and nurses in a corner, arguing over something. It appeared to Dean it was Castiel who had been talking before.

"Sir, we've tried to resuscitate him three times already!" a nurse exclaims.

Dean's brows furrow and he immediately looks at Sam, realizing that the whirring noise he was hearing was the heart monitor, and it was flat. His eyes widened as he turns to look at the doctors.

"You don't understand!" Castiel yells.

"You promised!" Dean screams frantically, causing the group to jump back in horror.

Castiel looks at the Winchester and meets his eyes, seeing the hurt and betrayal in them. He couldn't meet his gaze and tore away from his view.

"Security!" screamed a nurse.

"You promised me, Castiel. You gave me your word!" Dean exclaims, marching up to the doctor and grabbing his shirt tightly, forcing him closer to him. Dean shakes the other vigorously. Tears streamed down Dean's face as he pants heavily. "You gave me your word. And you lied. My brother is dead because of you. You couldn't save him. You couldn't save him!"

"I- I'm sorry," Castiel murmurs weakly.

Two security guards rush inside the room and pull Dean away from Castiel. They grab him tightly and begin to drag him away from the room.

"Sammy! God, no. You killed him!" Dean exclaims as he's being hauled out of the room. "You killed my brother. He was all I had left. And you took him away from me."

Castiel stares as the two men drag Dean out of the room. His lower lip shudders and he lowers his gaze to the ground. It takes everything in him, but the doctor manages to keep himself from breaking down in front of his staff members. "I'm so sorry," he whispers softly, voice thick.

Dean was locked in a room by the security guards, thinking it best he needed some time to think and calm himself down. Within the first hour, Dean was angry, punching the walls and kicking whatever came in reach. But as thirty minutes drew by, Dean was slumped on a chair, breathing heavily from over exhaustion. By doing nothing, Dean had time to think and the guilt and anguish came pouring into the elder Winchester. Dean's head hung over, and he was hunched over, clasping his hands together. Despite his height, the Winchester felt small and vulnerable. Dean could feel wetness in his eyes but before he would allow his feelings to progress, the door creaked opened.

Dean raised his head slightly and the first thing he noticed was the tail of a white coat. He continued to raise his head until his eyes were met with a pair of blue. Dean narrowed his eyes as he stared at the raven haired man. "You have some nerve coming into this room," Dean mutters angrily, glaring at Sam's murderer.

Castiel bites his lower lip before he closes the door behind him. He thinks for a moment before he walks towards the Winchester, stopping before him. Castiel looks down at the elder Winchester, seeing his sunken face and darken eyes."Listen, I know I'm the last person you would like to see right now, but I just wanted to say -"

"That you're sorry?" Dean interrupts, looking at Castiel incredulously. "No, you don't really mean it. You just don't want any trouble from me. You killed the only person I had left, and I will never forgive you! So you can take that apology and shove it up your ass!" Dean explains, rising from his chair and walking towards the door.

Castiel took a step back when Dean rose from his chair, having expected a blow to the face. When none came, Castiel continues, "Dean -"

"I'm done!" Dean answers, snapping back at Castiel.

"Dean, I just want to -"

"I said we're done here. Leave me alone," Dean replies, opening and slamming the door behind him.

Castiel stares at the empty frame that would have been Dean. He sighs heavily as he runs a hand through his hair. Tears caressed the doctor as guilt courses through his veins.


End file.
